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"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives.
There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.
However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.
As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.
So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.
How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for awhile and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.
Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.
You may be saying, 'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.
If your unHappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.
Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!
“你是唯一能使你幸福的人。”这句话在生活里我们都听过很多次。
有时候，生活像难以下咽的药片。事实上，你周围的人对你当时的心情有重大的影响。当你的孩子在早上淘气的时候，当你发现小狗留下一堆隔夜的粪便的时候，当你冲到马路上，而交通却不允许你以正常的速度前进时，当你来到单位却发现同事请了病假的时候……所有这些事情都可能会影响你一天的快乐。
然而，情绪和暂时的情感不同于幸福。幸福存在于当你观看整个生命的图画并微笑的时候，那才是幸福。你知道那些时刻，当你迫不及待的想要你的孩子们上床睡觉，而后在你查看他们的时候却几乎哭了出来，因为他们看起来就像是天使……你的天使，睡的如此香甜。你几乎记不得和他们生气的时刻。那就是幸福。
因为生命在发展变化，我们会意识到我们是谁，（是谁创造了我们）……那就是我们所要负责的。我们知道，即刻的喜悦和愤怒只会在短期内使我们的情绪平静或恶化。我们如何看待自己决定了我们的意识状态，而我们的意识状态决定了我们的幸福。
那么我们应当如何控制情绪并找到幸福之路呢？这似乎是个弥足珍贵的问题。有不计其数的书籍阐述这一问题。你可以阅读练习直到你完全迷惑，或者，我们可以反省是什么使我们幸福。这可能要花费更多时间和精力并使我们更加失望。
这样如何呢？如果我们看着自己，并决定我们喜欢的和不喜欢的，然后开始做出改变。不必然是大的改变�；蛐砟愣阅愕姆孔痈械窖岱橙次蘖Π峒�。试着粉刷卧室，或者买些花放到餐桌上。如果你还没有度假并且无力承担，那就用野营代替。
或许这些事情更倾向于私人化或内在化。你很容易发怒吗？去学学瑜伽或者沉思吧。你有婚姻问题吗？去拜访一个咨询师吧。孩子们有教育问题吗？确定主要的问题，为你如何纠正问题并坚持下去建立指导纲领。
你可以说：“当然，那听起来很容易，但是……”当然那听起来很容易。问题总是听易做难，但是，更多时候，事情和我们所推定的一样的难易。有时，只是我们把事情变的难了。
如果你的不快乐源自于你控制以外的情形，那么找到另外的方式去弥补。例如，钱很紧张，却又没有意外之财，那么就去找个不太昂贵的娱乐。后院足球赛，公园野餐，带着苞米花去看电影，卧室里的小点心，都是可以取代外出度过奢侈夜晚的方式。如果问题更严重，你感到无力，那就是时候寻求专业帮助了。
否则，看着镜子，高兴一点。如果你不喜欢你所看到的，那就改变它。做出更简单的解决！
