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1) Customer: Do you serve crabs（螃蟹） here?
Waiter: We serve anyone, sit right down.
（serve: a.招待；b. 提供，供应）
2) A: What would happen if an eye doctor came into the classroom?
B: He'd check the pupils.
（pupil: a. 瞳孔； b. 小学生）
3) Passenger: Is this my train?
Conductor: No, sir. It belongs to the railway company.
Passenger: Don't be funny. Can I take this train to New York?
Conductor: No, sir, it's much too heavy.
（take: a. 搭乘； b. 拿走）
4) Mother: Your hair needs cutting badly.
Daughter: I think it needs cutting nicely, it was cut badly last time.
（badly: a. 非常； b. 坏）
5) Customer: Waiter, I'm in a hurry. Will the girdle cakes(烙饼) be long?
Waiter: No, sir, round.
（long: a. 长时间； b. 长的）
6) A: What's the matter with your thumb (大拇指)?
B: I hit the wrong nail.
（nail: a. 指甲； b. 钉子）
7) A: I have a job in a watch factory.
B: What do you do?
A: Just stand around and make faces.
（make face: a. 制造表盘；b. 作鬼脸）
8) A: I think your son is spoiled.
B: I completely disagree with you.
A: Well, come out and see what a steam roller just did to him.
（spoil: a. 伤害； b. 宠坏）
9) Dinner: Waiter, this soup is spoiled.
Waiter: Who told you.
Dinner: A little sallow.
（swallow: a. 吞咽； b. 小燕子）
10) A: What has eighteen legs and catches flies?
B: A baseball team.
（fly: a. 苍蝇； b. 棒球中的飞球）
11) Teacher: What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?
Student: Because it never sits down to eat.
（lean: a. 倾斜； b. 瘦弱）
12) A: Which runs faster, heat or cold?
B: Heat runs faster, because you can easily catch cold.
（cold: a. 冷；b. 与catch一起表示“感冒”）
13) A: What trees does fire have no effect on?
B: Ashes.
（ashes: a. 白蜡树，桉树； b. 灰烬 ）
14) A: Why doesn’t a carpenter(木匠) believe there is a stone?
B: Because they never saw one.
（saw: a. 看见； b. 锯）
15) A: Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?
B: Because he lies on one side, then turns around and lies on the other.
（lie: a. 躺着； b. 撒谎）
16) A: Why are tall men lazy?
B: Because they lie long.
（lie long: a. 长时间睡； b. 躺下时显得长）
17) Jugde: Tell me why you parked there.
Driver: Because, Your Honor, it said “Fine for Parking”
（fine: a. 好的； b. �？睿�
18) Teacher: Tommy, you missed school yesterday, didn't you?
Tommy: Not a bit, teacher!
（miss: a. 想念； b. 错过，缺课）
19) A: My uncle kissed me.
B: How nice! Did you kiss him back, dear?
A: Of course not. I kissed his face.
（back: a. 回复； b. 后背）
20) A: Tom, you know you can't sleep in class.
B: I know, sir. But maybe I could, if you were a little quieter.
（can’t: a. 不许；b. 没法，不能）
21) A: Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair?
B: Because he wanted to rock and roll.
（to rock and roll是跳摇滚舞。但在这儿，摇rock 的是rocking chair，滚 roll的是 wheels。这就造成了一句双关的趣味。）
22) A: At what time of day was Adam born?
B: Just before Eve.
（Eve: a. 晚间； b. 夏娃）
23) A: How many feet are in a yard?
B: It depends on how many people are standing in it.
（feet: a. 英尺； b. 脚）
24) A: What kind of man can raise things without lifting them?
B: A farmer. He can raise pigs, chickens and so on without lifting them.
（raise: a. 提高，使升高； b. 喂养）
25) A: What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
B: The ground.
（hard: a. 难的； b. 硬的）
26) A: What's the hardest thing about learning skating?
B: The ice.
（hard: a. 难的； b. 硬的）
27) A: Why do some old people never use glasses?
B: They must like bottles very much.
（glasses: a. 眼镜； b. 玻璃杯）
28) A: Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington?
B: Because he's dead.
（Washington: a. 人名； b. 地名）
29) A: Why is an empty matchbox the best thing to have in the world？
B: Because it is matchless.
（matchless: a. 没有火柴的；b. 举世无双的）
30) A: Why did Little Tom put his brother's guitar in the refrigerator？
B: Because he enjoyed cool music.
（cool: a. 酷的； b. 冷）
31) A: What stays hot even if put in a fridge？
B: Pepper.
（hot: a. 辣的； b. 热的）
32) A: What month do soldiers hate?
B: March
（March: a. 三月； b. 行军）
33) A: Why is an empty purse always the same?
B: Because there is no change in it.
（change: a. 零钱； b. 变化）
34) A: What book has the most stirring chapters?
B: A cook book.
（stirring: a. 动人的； b. 搅拌的）
35) A: What kind of water should people drink in order to be healthy?
B: Drink well water.
（well: a. 井水； b. 健康的）
36) A: How do we know the ocean is friendly?
B: It waves.
（wave: a. 起波浪； b. 招手致意）
37) A: Why is the library the highest building?
B: It has the most stories.
（story: a. 故事； b. 楼层）
38) A: What do lawyers do when they die？
B: Lie still.
（lie still: a. 静静地躺着； b. 仍然撒谎）
39) A: What’s the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole?
B: The whole world.
（difference: a. 不同； b. 差距）
40) A: What is the difference between the rising and setting sun?
B: A day.
（difference: a. 不同； b. 差距）
