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Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, "the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions". And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities - e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.
Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to:
Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away
Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV
Wake early to work on yourself
Say "no" when tempted to break your diet
Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times
In the past self-discipline has been a weakness of mine, and as a result today I find myself lacking the ability to do a number of things which I would like - e.g. to play the guitar. But I have improved, and I can say that it is self-discipline that got me out of bed this morning at 5am to run and then write this article. Believe me, I would love to be curled up in bed right now, but this desire is subordinated by my inner sense of purpose.
If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. For example, it is only in the past two years that I have trained myself to wake early. The following are what I have found to be the five traits of self-discipline:
1. Self-Knowledge
Discipline means behaving according to what you have decided is best, regardless of how you feel in the moment. Therefore the first trait of discipline is self-knowledge. You need to decide what behavior best reflects your goals and values. This process requires introspection and self-analysis, and is most effective when tied to written expression. I highly recommend taking the time to write out your goals, dreams and ambitions. Even better, write out a personal mission statement. I found that writing such a statement gave me a greater understanding of who I am, what I am about and what I value. Dr. Covey has an excellent Mission Statement Builder on his site.
2. Conscious Awareness
Self-discipline depends upon conscious awareness as to both what you are doing and what you are not doing. Think about it. If you aren't aware your behavior is undisciplined, how will you know to act otherwise?
As you begin to build self-discipline, you may catch yourself being in the act of being undisciplined - e.g. biting your nails, avoiding the gym, eating a piece of cake or checking your email constantly. Developing self-discipline takes time, and the key here is you are aware of your undisciplined behavior. With time this awareness will come earlier, meaning rather than catching yourself in the act of being undisciplined you will have awareness before you act in this way. This gives you the opportunity to make a decision that is in better alignment with your goals and values.
3. Commitment to Self-Discipline
It is not enough to simply write out your goals and values. You must make an internal commitment to them. Otherwise when your alarm clock goes off at 5am you will see no harm in hitting the snooze button for "just another 5 minutes…" Or, when initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away from a project you will struggle to see it through to completion.
If you struggle with commitment, start by making a conscious decision to follow through on what you say you're going to do - both when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. Then, I highly recommend putting in place a system to track these commitments. As the saying goes, "What gets measured gets improved".
4. Courage
Did you notice the sweat dripping from the man in the picture at the start of this article? Make no mistake, self-discipline is often extremely difficult. Moods, appetites and passions can be powerful forces to go against. Therefore self-discipline is highly dependent on courage. Don't pretend something is easy for you to do when it is in fact very difficult and/ or painful. Instead, find the courage to face this pain and difficulty. As you begin to accumulate small private victories, your self-confidence will grow and the courage that underpins self-discipline will come more naturally.
5. Internal Coaching
Self-talk is often harmful, but it can also be extremely beneficial if you have control of it. When you find yourself being tested, I suggest you talk to yourself, encourage yourself and reassure yourself. After all, it is self-talk that has the ability to remind you of your goals, call up courage, reinforce your commitment and keep you conscious of the task at hand. When I find my discipline being tested, I always recall the following quote: "The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret". Burn this quote into your memory, and recall in whenever you find yourself being tested. It may change your life.
纪律就是自由。你也许不同意这句话。当然你也不是唯一一个不同意的人。对很多人来说，纪律是个忌讳的词，其含义就等同于自由的缺失。其实，纪律才是获得真正的自由。斯蒂芬。康威曾经写过："没有纪律的人只是情绪、欲望以及激情的奴隶。"从长远来看，没有纪律的人缺乏掌握具体的技能所带来的自由，比如，演奏一项乐器，或者讲一门外语。
自律是指按你此刻所思考的内容来行动，而不是随心所欲。通常，自律包含了为了影响人生的重大事情而牺牲此刻的愉悦和刺激。因此，自律会驱使你去做：
当最初的激情退却后，仍继续努力于一个主意或项目；
当你只想躺在沙发上看电视时，起身去健身馆；
早起想想自身的问题；
节食时，对诱惑说"不";
每天只在特定的几个时刻查看一下邮箱。
过去，自律一直是我的一个弱项，以致于今天我不会做很多我曾经想做的事，比如，弹奏吉他。但我也已经改善很多了。我可以说正是自律让我在五点起床去跑步，然后写下这篇文章。相信我，我非常喜欢现在就蜷缩在被窝里。但这种欲望已经服从于我的内在意识。
如果你正在和自律挣扎，那么好消息是它是可以培养的。比如，我只是过去两年里在训练自己早起。下列五点是我发现的自律的特点：
1, 自觉
自律意味着按照你所认定是最好的行动，而不顾及此刻你的感受。所以，自律的第一个特点就是自觉。你需要决定哪些行为能最好的达到你的目标和实现你的价值。这个过程要求自我反省和自我分析。最有效的是和写下来的描述相联系。我强烈推荐你花点时间写下你的目标、梦想和野心。更好的，是写出个人的使命宣言。我发现写下这样一个宣言让我能更好的了解我是谁，我能怎样以及什么是我的价值。Covey博士在他的网页上有一篇很好的文章《任务建立者》。
2, 自我意识
自我意识从两方面决定了自律：你正在做的事情和你没有在做的事情。想一想。如果你没有意识到你的行为是无纪律的，那你又怎么知道用另外的方式来行动呢？
当你开始培养自律时，你可能会注意到自己正进行着不自律的行为--比如，咬指甲，不去健身，吃蛋糕或者经常性的检查你的邮箱。培养自律需要时间。关键就在于你对自己的不自律行为保持警觉。渐渐的，这种警觉性会在你不自律的行为之前就提醒你。这让你在做决定时，更好的靠近你的目标和价值。
3, 自律的承诺
仅是简单的写出你的目标和价值是不够的。你必须对它们做出承诺。否则，当你的闹钟在早上5点响起时，你会按下暂停键，想着再睡5分钟吧，也没太大关系的；或者当最初的热情褪去后，你的项目就进入了跌跌撞撞走向完成的过程。
当你和承诺挣扎时，按照你讲过的你要去做的事情，包括你讲过的要做的事情以及做的方法，做一个清醒的决定。这里，我强烈推荐你建立一个系统来追踪这些承诺。有句话是这样说的：当事物被评估的时候，它就会改进的。
4, 勇气
在文章开始的图片里，你有没有注意到从男人脸上留下的那滴汗水？不错，自律通常是非常困难的。情绪、欲望以及激情都是强劲的对手。所以，自律需要很大的勇气。当事情其实很难的时候，不要假装它对你而言是很简单的。相反，找到勇气来面对辛苦和困难。当你慢慢累积小小的胜利时，你的自信会增长，支持你自律的勇气也会源源不断。
5, 自我指导
自我对话通常是有害的，但当你掌控它的时候，又是极其有用的。在你被测试的时候，我建议你跟自己对话，鼓励自己，肯定自己。毕竟，自我对话有能力向你提醒你的目标，唤起你的勇气，加强你的承诺，以及对你手边的任务保持清醒。当我发现自律被测试时，我�；嵯肫鹫饩浠埃�"纪律的代价通常都小于后悔的痛苦。"把这句话融进你的记忆里，每次当你被测试时，想一想它。这会改变你的人生。
