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The foundation of any relationship, whether it be with a Business associate, spouse, parent, client or, friend, is trust. Trust is not something that can be built with quick fix techniques. Rather, it is something that is cultivated through consistent habits in your interactions. The following are twelve patterns of behavior that increase trust in your relationships.
1. Be transparent
Do not try to hide things from others. Refuse to have any hidden agendas. You might think you can pull a fast one on someone else. You can’t. Most people have good intuition and even though they may not be able to consciously determine that you are hiding something, they very likely will have an uneasy feeling around you. If they don`t feel comfortable around you, they won't be able to trust you.
Another sinister aspect of having hidden agenda is that it erodes your ability to trust others. You will assume that if you aren’t fully forthcoming, other people aren’t either. When you are trustworthy, however, you will see others as more trustworthy too.
2. Be sincere
This is similar to the previous point. Only say what you mean. Be impeccably honest with your words. Refuse to try and craft your words to manipulate others. Don`t give fake compliments, patronize others or say something just because you think you are supposed to. Again, people have good BS detectors. When others know that you only speak genuinely, it increases their capacity to trust you. Everyone loves authenticity.
3. Focus on adding value
In any relationship, always have the best interest of others at heart. Work hard to give as much or more than you get. When you consistently add value to someone`s life, they not only feel like you are on their side, they also have the urge to reciprocate. In Business relationships, this means always under-promise and over-deliver. In personal relationships, focusing on meeting the needs of the other person instead of taking in order to get your own needs met.
4. Be present
The last thing anyone wants is to have a conversation with someone who isn’t there. Instead of retreating into your head, focus on listening to others. Whenever you are with someone, make them your primary focus. Don’t think about work while you are at Home talking to your spouse. Don’t think about life at Home when you are with a client. When it comes to relationships, presence means quality time and quality time builds trust.
5. Always treat people with respect
Ever since we were little kids, we have been taught to be respectful. However, when our standards get violated or there is no one around to see (read: we don`t think there will be any consequences), we can often engage in petty behavior. This encompasses a wide range of actions from personal attacks during arguments to gossiping behind someone’s back.
Always remember that another person’s inherent worth as a human being entitles them to be treated with dignity. When people know that you will always treat with them respect, it is very natural for trust to flourish.
6. Take responsibility
When you mess up, which you invariably will, be quick to clean it up. Skip the excuses and just take responsibility. Justifying and making excuses may help you in the short term but in the long run, it does nothing for your character or the level of trust you are given. Accountability is a rare trait these days with most people wanting to avoid negative consequences at all costs. Dare to be different and you will win the trust of others.
7. Focus on feedback
Unless you`re a mind reader, the only way you can know how well a relationship is going is by getting feedback from the other person. Be not only willing to accept feedback – actively seek it out. Many people are afraid to give you feedback, especially if its negative, out of fear that they will offend. Ask with sincerity and respond respectfully and others will be far more willing. Take both the positive and negative into account along with your own judgment and adjust your behaviour accordingly.
8. Take criticism well
Learn to handle criticism with grace. Instead of getting defensive, consider the possibility that what the other person is saying might be true. Closing yourself off from criticism has the effect of closing off all communication.
In some cases, the criticism may indeed be inaccurate. In these instances, you have the opportunity to show empathy. Try to understand the problem from the other person’s point of view. Perhaps the criticism is just a thinly veiled attack that stems from a deeper upset they may have with you. In these cases, your willingness to dig deeper without getting defensive will certainly enhance the trust in the relationship.
9. Set boundaries
Be clear about how you expect people to behave around you. Again, do this in a mature manner: be sincere and respectful. When you have clear standards, people know exactly how to behave around you and that gives them certainty. The strength that you communicate by setting boundaries builds trust – when someone knows that they can`t take advantage you that alleviates the fear that someone else will.
10. Be a class act
Hold yourself to a higher a standard. Be quick to apologize when you know you are wrong. Only speak well of others, even those who don`t speak well of you.
Why should you do this? First, imagine what it would do to your sense of self to know that other people only have good experiences with you. Second, imagine how much trust such behaviour engenders in others. Finally, imagine the example you set for others – the conduct of others will improve just by being around you consistently.
11. Your word is your bond
Keep all the promises you make and ensure that you make promises only sparingly. Make your word stronger than any written contract. Refuse to make empty promises and manipulate people.
When a promise you have made is no longer beneficial to you, instead of deciding to not follow through, attempt to renegotiate the deal. When you renegotiate the agreement, ensure that the new commitment provides even more value to the other person.
12. Be consistent
Above all, be consistent in your behavior. Don’t engage in the behavior once in a while when it seems convenient. Your consistency is the key to your trustworthiness. Small actions add up and a track record of high character is invaluable in any relationship. Become intensely principle-centered and trust will follow easily and consistently.
无论是与你的商业伙伴、伴侣、父母、客户或者朋友，任何一种关系建立的基础都是信任。信任的建立不是一蹴而就的，相反，它是在您一贯的交往习惯中日益酝酿出来的。下面12种行事准则将有助于您在人际交往中建立信任。
1、行为透明
不要试图对别人隐瞒什么。不要秘密地计划议程。你也许认为你有把握对某人耍些小手段。其实你不能。大多数人的直觉都很敏锐，即使他们不能确定你在隐瞒些什么，但他们能感觉得到。如果他们和你在一起感到不舒服，那么他们就不会信任你。
隐瞒的另一个消极作用就是它让你不再信任别人。你会假想如果自己不坦诚，别人也一定不会坦诚。反过来说，如果你自己是值得信任的，你也会觉得别人和你一样值得信任。
2、待人坦诚
这与第一条很相似。说出你真正所想。要绝对说真话。避免试图编造谎言去操纵他人。不要刻意恭维赞美，说一些别人爱听的话。如前者所述，人们都有很强的分辨力。当别人发现你说的那些话都是出自真心时，他们就会信任你。每个人都喜欢真诚。
3、调整价值观
不管是何种关系，要始终把别人的利益放在心中。努力去给予，使其相当于或超出自己的所得。当你不断地为别人带来价值的时候，别人不仅仅会认为你是站在他们那一边的，他们也会努力去回报你。在业务来往中，这就意味着给予要大于承诺。在个人交往中，则是要致力于多多满足别人的需要，而不是向别人一味地索求。
4、心神一致
没有人愿意和一个心不在焉的人谈话。
和别人在一起是，不要三心二意，要注意听别人在讲什么。不论和谁在一起，都要把他/她当作自己关注的焦点。当你和你的妻子聊天的时，就不要再想工作上的事情。当你和客户谈生意的时，也不要想家里的事。专心使你提高了时间利用率，在人际关系上，它帮你建立了信任。
5、始终尊重别人
在我们很小时，父母就教导我们要要尊重别人。然而，一旦我们的准则遭到侵犯，或无人注意我们时（并且认为没有人会回应我们），我们经�；嵊幸恍┎谎判形�。这个涵盖范围很广，包括与人争论时搞人身攻击，或背后说人坏话。
你要始终记得，任何一个人都是值得我们去尊重的。当别人发现你始终都是发自内心的尊重他时，他对你的信任也就自然而然的加深了。
6、承担责任
如果你总是把事情弄糟的话，那么尽快的处理好。不要只是道歉，要负起你的责任。短时间内来看道歉也许对你有用，但从长远来讲这对你的品行或信任的树立毫无用处。敢于承担责任已经成为了现代人的一个稀有的品质。大家都在忙着想尽办法去避免那些负面的消极的结果。在这一点上，如果你敢于讲真话，你将会赢得别人的信任。
7、关注反馈意见
除非你会读心术，唯一可以知道你的关系处的如何的方法就是从他人口中得到反馈。不要坐着等反馈上门，要主动去寻找，特别是别人不敢说出口负面意见。要真诚，客气地去问，别人就会很乐意告诉你了。把肯定和否定的综合在一起并加以判断，然后对自己的行为做出一些合理的调整。
8、接受批评
学会优雅地对待批评，而不是一味地防守，或许别人是对的。反对批评只会使你切断一切交流的途径。
有些时候别人的批评也许真的很不对。在这种情况下，要试着从别人的角度来发现问题所在�；蛐碚庵皇桥勒叨阅宦募浣拥谋硎�。这时，如果你既往不咎却真诚地想了解更多的行为，定会使你在交往中更加值得信任。
9、设定界限
弄清楚，你想让别人在你面前有怎样的行为举止。和获取反馈意见一样，你需要对别人表现出真诚和尊重。当你有了一个明确的标准，大家也都明白了和你交往的行为尺度，这会使他们和你相处起来不再心里没谱。设定界限的交流同样使你可信，一些人就明白了没有办法利用你也就减少了别人会利用你的担心。
10、表现出色
给自己制定一个更高的标准。当你意识到自己做错的时候要赶快道歉。称赞别人，即使那些人不喜欢你。
为什么要这么做呢？首先，想一想那些对你印象好的人，这意味着什么；其次，想一想这么做会你增加多少信任度；最后，想想你树立的这个榜样——常和你呆在一起的人也会因此改善自己的行为举止。
11、重信守诺
遵守诺言，且不要轻易许诺。要让你的诺言比那些文本合同还要有效。
如果曾经的诺言已经不易于实现，不要悔言，试着就这个事情重新谈判。并确保经过重新谈判达成的新协议，能给别人带来更多的好处。
12、始终如一
最重要的一点：始终如一。不要贪图一时便利而改变它。保持你的一贯做法是你赢得信任的金钥匙。一个小的举动，一次高品质的体现在您的人际关系中的价值都不可估量。坚持按准则办事，信任就会如影而随。
