How to be happy

    如何获得幸福：寻找幸福公式？ 

    In the past two weeks we have looked at the happiness formula defined by positive psychologist Martin Seligman, where H (happiness) = S (your biological set point for feeling happy) + C (the conditions of your life) + V (the voluntary choices you make). This week we look at the conditions in life that can improve our happiness quotient.

    Step 1: Peace and quiet

    Jonathon Haidt in his excellent book, 'The Happiness Hypothesis', notes that research shows that we can never completely adapt to new or chronic noise pollution. Loud noises trigger one of our most primitive fear responses (the other is the fear of falling) and we can never fully relax if we are surrounded by intrusive noise. Noisy neighbours are one of the most emotive causes of domestic upset for a very good reason. It is essential to have some peace and quiet every day. If you are unfortunate enough to live somewhere noisy, persist with complaining to your local council. Additionally, try wearing wax earplugs to give you some respite. If you need your TV, radio or music up loud, wearing headphones demonstrates altruism to your neighbours, which will make you and them feel good.

    Step 2: Relationships

    This is the most important of all the external conditions that can improve your happiness quotient. Often our deepest sources of unhappiness are found in poor relationships with others. A colleague at work who bullies or dismisses us creates untold wretchedness. A cruelly conflictual relationship with a partner or lover leaves us feeling betrayed and abandoned. A relationship with our parents or children which is not based on compassionate, unconditional regard creates isolation and misery. We never fully adapt to hostile relationships, they invidiously contaminate our wellbeing, squatting inside our minds as unresolved, destructive ruminations. When faced with such relationships, the most positive thing we can do is to either mend the relationship by confronting what is going wrong or learn to move on.

    Step 3: Share

    If you have discovered conditions or choices in life that have significantly improved your wellbeing, I would like to share them with readers. Passing on what works is essential to improve our own and the wellbeing of others.

    过去两周我们研究了一项幸福公式，这是由乐观心理学家马丁塞利格曼定义的。H(幸福)=S(个人生理幸福感受的固定指数)+C(个人生活状态)+V(个人主观选择)本周我们将着眼于能提升幸福指数的生活状态。

    第一步：平和宁静 

    乔纳森海迪在他的优秀著作《幸福假说》当中提到，研究调查显示，我们不可能完全适应噪音污染，无论是新近的还是长期的。巨大噪声会引起我们某种面对恐惧本能反映(另一种是对于坠落的恐惧)，如果周遭噪音喧闹，我们不可能完全放松。这样看来，吵闹的邻居的确对我们家庭不和起到很大影响。每日保持平和宁静事关重要。如果不幸你生活环境比较吵，请一定要坚持去居委会投诉。另外，试试实用耳塞，可能会缓解噪声。如果你一定要大声看电视听收银放音乐的话，记得戴上耳机，别影响邻里，这样可以使双方都感到舒适。

    第二步：人际关系 

    这是增加幸福指数的一条至关重要的内部条件。我们感到不快乐的最深层原因，往往就是人际关系欠佳。如果一个在职同事对我们表示威吓的话，会造成难以言语的抑郁情绪。与拍档或者爱人的关系陷入残酷竞争之中，会让我们感到背叛和背弃。与父母孩子之间的关系缺乏同情心和无私关心，那么这会造成隔阂生产痛苦。我们不可能适应这种敌对关系，这种不良的人际关系会损害身心健康，长久留存在我们心里，会让人陷入无以解决的恶性心理困境。当我们面临这类问题时，最好的办法，就是直面难题，挽救关系，或者学着继续前进。

    第三步：分享

    如果你发觉生活状态或者做的某项决定对幸福生活有极大帮助的话，我很想将其和读者们分享。将有用的发现与更多人分享，这对增进自己的幸福和他人的幸福都有积极作用。