1.A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately. 

    The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married." 

    "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day. 

    不能让他跑了 

    一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇！她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。 

    第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了？”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。” 

    “哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。” 

    2.When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting." 

    As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, "C'mon, Steven, let's get dirty 

    让人无奈的孩子 

    我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 

    我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。” 

    3.Wilberforce stood for Parliament on one occasion， and hissister helped him with his election campaign． The Bribery andCorruption Acts had not been framed in those days ; consequently， the sister offered to give a new dress to the wife of every man who voted for her brother． This offer pleased the voters immensely， and at one meeting there went up a cry of“Miss Wilberforce for ever！”The lady in question rosequickly from her chair on the platform and said： 

    “Oh，please，don't. I have no wish to be Miss Wilhberforce for ever ．” 

    威尔伯佛斯 

    有一次，威尔伯佛斯做国会议员候选人，他的妹妹帮助 他搞竞选运动。那时候，行贿和腐败法案尚未拟定；因此，这位妹妹提出愿意送一件新衣服给每一个投她哥哥票的男人的妻子。这项提议使选民们极为满意。在一次集会上，人们高呼：“威尔伯佛斯小姐万岁！”该女士迅速从讲台上她的坐椅 上站起来，说：

    “噢，请别这么说。我可不想永远做威尔伯佛斯小姐。”