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Kissing, stroking and wild embraces are common enough, but now the quiet, romantic gesture of holding hands in public is a final frontier for many young couples in the West-even though, traditionally it was the first step towards intimacy.
That very fact--that it's a simple but powerful statement of commitment—is exactly what deters many young people from linking hands.There is no public display of affection more intimate between two people than handholding, writes New York bachelor Jozen, on his blog. "Holding hands is the ultimate sign that two people are not only together, but happily so. Couples kiss madly, hug madly. But hold hands madly? Oh no, they don't do that."Public Display of Affection is so common and varied that it's earned its own acronym, the PDA.
I was recently in London sharing a coffee with my uncle, who's in his 50s. When we went to leave a teenage couple was wildly embracing and kissing in the doorway in front of us. "If they really loved each other they wouldn’t feel the need to do that," he muttered disapprovingly.SarahMaddock, a 26-year-old Londoner, explains that a lot of young people aren't thinking about the long term when they date someone:"Kissing and touching are fueled by passion and don't necessarily mean people plan to be together forever. But a couple quietly holding hands shows something deeper."In the fast paced, constantly changing world of youth where everything is permitted, but nothing is certain, people have time for passion but are scared of the commitment of love.Behavior changes as people age but still many older couples don't share physical contact in public.Sometimes, this is due to time. People are too busy with work or kids to share small intimacies. And there may simply not be enough space in our crowded cities.Whatever the reason, Denise Mah, a writer on love relationships, thinks it's a bad sign "when your love partner stops holding your hand for no obvious reason...or stops putting an arm over your shoulder in public when he or she always did before. It is a sign that a breakup is imminent."
Going hand-in-hand may not only be a sign of a sturdy relationship but may also have health benefits.
Holding the hand of a loved one reduces pain during times of distress, according to a recent study by psychologists at the University of California.Another study by an American psychology professor, Julianne Holt-Lunstad, showed that support between couples reduces stress. One important way that people express this support, researchers say, is through" non-sexual, caring physical touch, such as hand-holding".
Power couples on the world stage have taken to handholding as a sign of equality and commitment. The Obamas are often snapped hand-in-hand. UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown and his wife parade with fingers entwined. And Nicolas Sarkozy and wife Carla Bruni are notorious for their public affection.Subtle shows of affection maybe increasingly rare in our frenzied world. However, if the statesmen can teach us anything perhaps it's that a little handholding wouldn't go amiss.
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亲吻、爱抚和热情的拥抱虽很常见，但如今，安静、浪漫的牵手却成了很多西方年轻人在公共场所的终极边界——虽然这在传统上不过是亲昵行为的第一步。然而，正是这个简单却强大的承诺让众多年轻人对牵手望而却步。纽约单身汉Jozen曾在博客中写道：“所有公共场合亲密行为中，两人间最亲密的行为莫过于牵手了。牵手不仅宣告两人在一起的事实，还将两人的幸福一并传达出来。情侣们会疯狂地亲吻、拥抱。但他们会疯狂地牵手么？答案当然是不会”。公共场合亲密行为很常见，也很多样化。它已经拥有了自己的首字母缩略词——PDA。不久前，我和50多岁的叔叔在伦敦喝咖啡。临走时，一对十多岁的情侣在我们前面的门口处疯狂地拥吻。“如果真爱对方，他们完全没有必要这样做，”叔叔不以为然地低声说。对此，26岁的伦敦市民SarahMaddock解释说，很多年轻人约会时没有考虑得很长远。激情促使他们亲吻、爱抚彼此，但这并不一定意味着两人打算厮守终身。而静静牵手的情侣们则宣告着更为深入的关系。在如今这个快节奏、不断变化的年轻人的世界，人们可以做任何事，但没有什么是必然的。人们有时间享受激情，却往往害怕爱情的承诺。虽然人们的行为会随着年龄的增长而变化，但仍有很多大龄情侣不在公共场合进行肢体接触。有时，时间是导致这一现象的罪魁祸首。人们忙着工作或孩子而忽略了这些微小的亲密行为。又或许这只是因为我们拥挤的城市没有足够的空间。无论出于何种原因，研究恋爱关系的作家DeniseMah认为，如果你的另一半毫无缘由地不像以前那样在公共场合和你牵手，或将手放在你的肩膀，这都不是一个好现象。这是分手的前兆。
除了作为稳定关系的标志，牵手走还有益健康。
不久前，加利福尼亚大学心理学家研究发现，牵着恋人的手有助于减轻人们悲痛时的疼痛感。美国心理学教授Julianne Holt-Lunstad的另一项调查发现，恋人间的支持能够减轻压力。研究人员称，人们表达支持的一个重要方式是“非性的饱含关怀的肢体接触，例如牵手”。
世界大舞台上的权贵夫妇们已将握手视为平等、承诺的标志。奥巴马夫妇照相时总是两手紧握，英国首相戈登•布朗夫妇外出时也总是十指紧扣，法国总统尼古拉斯•萨科奇和妻子卡拉•布鲁尼更因二人在公共场合的亲昵举动而招致不少非议。在如今这个狂乱的世界，细微的表达爱意的举动或许会越发罕见。但是，如果政治家们可以教会我们一些事情的话，那或许就是偶尔牵牵手还是不错的。
