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心理健康:你真想知道别人是怎样看待你的吗?

放大字体  缩小字体 发布日期:2009-10-12
核心提示:Imagine finding out what your friends, co-workers, exes, crushes and acquaintances really think of your personality, body, attitude or intelligence. A lot of people are talking about a Facebook app that lets you solicit anonymous feedback from peopl

    Imagine finding out what your friends, co-workers, exes, crushes and acquaintances really think of your personality, body, attitude or intelligence. A lot of people are talking about a Facebook app that lets you solicit anonymous feedback from people who know you. Some say it can help you be the best you possible, others fear that it's downright hurtful and scary. Where do you stand on the matter? I'll start off by telling you a really embarrassing story…

    Once, when I was out to lunch at a restaurant with a bunch of colleagues, I got up to use the restroom, and as I returned to the table, I had this feeling that people were eying me. I shrugged it off, thinking they were probably ogling my enormous 8-months pregnant belly.

    Um, no. About 10 minutes later, two women walked over to my table--in front of everyone--and dropped a folded napkin in my lap. They giggled as they quickly walked away. Of course, everyone at the table stared at me as I unfolded the napkin and read what it said:

    "We just wanted you to know that you have toilet paper hanging off of your pants."

    I turned five shades of fuchsia as I turned around and noticed that I had a 4-foot-long strand of toilet paper (clean--it wasn't that bad) wedged into the elastic waist of my maternity pants.

    Of course, I was glad to know the toilet paper was there. But I was sohumiliated! Part of me wished I'd just discovered it myself as I stood up and grabbed my coat. There's something sort of blissful about believing that people don't notice your flaws and flubs, isn't there?

    That's why I'm a little on the fence about the Facebook application called Honesty Box. Here's how it works: You download the app to your Facebook page and people can go in and anonymously tell you what they think of you. Anything goes! You might find out that someone thinks you're gorgeous, or not. Or that someone has been holding a grudge against you since the seventh grade and still hates your guts. All is fair game with Honesty Box.

    Psychology Today recently highlighted the app in their current issue in a feature about "how to see yourself as others see you."

    The good: A program like this could help you get a better view of yourself, fix potential problems, and become your best self.

    The bad: It could also lower your self image with comments and cheap shots from people who are just trying to be hurtful, not necessarily honest. Example: Do you really need to know that someone didn't like the outfit you wore to work today? (Note: There have been reports of cyber-stalking and bullying via Honesty Box.)

    想象一下,知道你的朋友,同时,前男友,群众和熟人是如何真实的看待你的个性,身体,态度或者智慧。很多人正在谈论一个可以获得匿名好友反馈信息的Facebook应用程序。一些人认为它可以使你变得更完美,其他人害怕这简直就是伤害和恐惧。你对于这个问题的立场是什么?我将从讲述一个真实的尴尬故事开始。

    一次,当我和一群同事去餐厅吃饭。我站起来去用洗手间,当我回到座位上时,我有种大家都在盯着我看的感觉。我耸了耸肩,认为他们肯能是在看我那8个月身孕的腹部。

    恩,不。大约10分钟以后,两个妇女走到我的桌边--在大家面前--将一张折叠的餐巾纸放在我膝盖上。当她们离开时咯咯的笑。当我打开餐巾读它时纸桌上的每一个人都在注视着我。

    我们只是想让你知道卫生纸吊在你的裤子上。

    我转过身,注意到我身上有一条4英尺长的卫生纸(干净的--那不是太糟糕)嵌入我产假裤的腰围里。

    当然,我很高兴知道厕纸在那里。但是我很羞辱!我希望当我解手后穿衣服的时候正好发现它的。我也几分高兴大家没有注意到我的尴尬,不是好吗?

    这就是为什么我对于叫"Honesty Box"的Facebook应用程序有点抱观望态度。下面是它的使用方法:你下载这个应用程序到你的Facebook页面,然后人们就可以进入(它),匿名告诉你他们怎么看待你了。

    事情发生了!你也许发现一些人认为你是慷慨的,或者不是。或者一些人自从7年级开始一直对你有怨恨,仍然讨厌你的胆量。一切都显示在Honesty Box游戏里。

    心理学家最近提到这个应用程序在他们的现期刊物的一个关于"如何看待自己如同他人看待你"的专题文章中。

    优点:像这样的程序可以帮助你获得一个更好的了解自己,解决潜在的问题,成为最好的自我。

    缺点:它也能降低你的自我想象因为来自那些有害的评论和道德攻击,未必诚实地(评论和道德攻击).你真的喜欢知道有人不喜欢你今天的工作服?(注意:曾有报告通过网络跟踪,并通过Honesty Box发布欺诈消息。)

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关键词: 心理健康
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