¡¡¡¡I always try to keep job stress from spilling over into my personal life. Sometimes I fail. And now and then, a situation crops up that makes me regret it¡£
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¡¡¡¡After a long day at work recently, racing to hit deadlines and falling behind on my to-do list, I took a call from Josh, an installation guy for a new Internet service I'm trying out. I'd left a message for him hours earlier; I was already annoyed when I picked up the phone, and my impatience spilled into our conversation¡£
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¡¡¡¡He offered to come to my house two days later. Then we had to plod through my providing a credit card number, e-mail address and directions. By the time we hung up, I'd missed a couple of work calls and I was aware that I sounded grumpy ″ even though Josh remained pleasant and polite¡£
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¡¡¡¡Job stress can easily spill over into personal and family life. People who are relatively powerless service workers, children and other innocent bystanders often bear the brunt. I've written about how pent-up stress caused by dealing with impatient customers spills over into the personal lives of customer-service workers, who take their frustrations home and vent on their partners and pets. And within the family, most children say that if they were granted one wish on how to improve parents' juggles, they wish Mom and Dad would come home less stressed, according to a study of 1,000 children by Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute. Drawing solid boundaries between work stress and other people in your life can be critical¡£
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¡¡¡¡When Josh's appointed installation day arrived, I kept expecting him for hours, but he was a no-show. Then, at 6:30 p.m., just as my family was sitting down for dinner, the doorbell rang. It was Josh, smiling and ready to work. Annoyed, I told him I'd expected him much earlier, but I left my dinner and let him in¡£
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¡¡¡¡We had a few laughs as he worked, and the service he installed was terrific. Then, he astonished me by remarking, as he was preparing to leave, that I had brightened his day¡£
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¡¡¡¡It had been a tough one, he said. He and his wife, already parents of a child with cystic fibrosis, had gotten word that their second baby, due later this year, would almost certainly have Down syndrome. Right after he got the news, a truck rear-ended his car at a stoplight, sending him to the emergency room with a painful case of whiplash¡£
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¡¡¡¡With a big smile, Josh thanked me for making his day better, and apologized for being late. Feeling sheepish and ashamed, I remembered the adage, 'never criticize another until you have walked a mile in his shoes.' I wished Josh and his family well with as much warmth and heart as I could, and waved good-by. I have been thinking ever since about his situation, reflecting on my need to set better boundaries and give more respect to everyone I encounter; who knows what they may be juggling?
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