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For some reason, people feel it is necessary to dump their opinions on anyone who listens. And much of the time for a stay-at-home dad, it seems those opinions are aimed right at your forehead. Being a SAHD, although becoming more accepted, automatically makes you a bit of an outcast in the child-rearing world. It can be hard not to snap back or feel beaten down. But how well you handle such remarks can help you feel more comfortable in the role. Here are top misconceptions about stay-at-home dads.
10. He’s Sitting at Home Watching Sports All Day
Well, there aren’t that many sports on during a week day, so watching plain old TV can fill the role. But watching TV, unless it is getting a short break from the toddler by tuning into PBS’s children’s programming, is usually the last thing on your mind during a hectic day. You may get to watch a late Sportscenter once the kids are in bed and the house is reorganized, but there are no guarantees.
9. His Spouse Would Rather Be Home
There is a theme to misconceptions that at-home dads have to deal with, and it is rife with gender stereotypes. This one is a reverse misconception. Just as there are men who don’t necessarily want to be stuck in the office all day and would rather take care of the kids, there are women who want to advance their careers. There is no doubt that your wife would like to spend more time with the kids. Your family talked long and hard about this decision and concluded it would be the best situation. It’s doubtful that during the process she said she didn’t want to be a mom.
8. Men Would Rather Be in the Office
Most stay-at-home dads can tell you they know a male friend, former co-worker, acquaintance or family member who has told them they would love to take care of the kids if they could. Careerbuilder.com releases an annual survey of working dads that has found the number wishing they could stay at home with the children was 50% in 2003, and the tally most years has hovered around 40%. Most men in this role chose to be here and wouldn’t want to give it up.
7. Men Don’t Stay at Home With the Children
True, only 159,000 men are classified as full-time fathers according to the 2006 U.S. Census Bureau numbers. That’s compared with 5.6 million full-time moms. But when you throw in the part-time at-home dads or those who do most of the caring for the kids – they work at night and watch the kids during the day, for example – the number of men as primary caregivers is as high as 20%. Additionally, the number of men staying at home has nearly tripled in the past decade and continues to grow. Full-time dads are increasingly visible.
6. Men Can’t Watch the Kids as Well as Women
Unsolicited advice is another common aspect stay-at-home dads deal with when out in public with their kids. You handled that tantrum incorrectly, you dressed them wrong, you shouldn’t be giving them that popcorn. Or how about, “Those kids should be with their mother.” Because a man can’t competently take care of a child? Moms surely get similar advice, and there is no way to say who has to deal with it more. Either way, it’s not a great feeling to be told you don’t know what you’re doing.
5. He Must Have Lost His Job
There is no other reason a dad would want to take care of the kids other than he was forced to, right? There is no question in these economic times some men have taken on the role because they were laid off or their job situation isn’t promising. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to stay at home. Don’t be surprised if many more men used the economic climate as the perfect excuse to spend more time with their children.
4. He Must be Looking for a Job
Again, people have a hard time comprehending that a father would want to stay at home. It is sometimes hard to find support for the decision or to find the right response when finding out what a SAHD does. A lot of people are set in their ways. They’ll tell you it is great what you are doing and then ask how the job hunt is going or pass along employment advertisements that your skills fit. Take it as a complement that they are thinking about you
3. He Must Not Have Any Motivation
If you’re staying home all day instead of at work, it must be you can’t find something to do with your time or don’t want to. You’d rather sleep until noon, roll out of bed and eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes, play some video games and take a nap. Problem is, kids don’t sleep until noon and if you’re lucky you get a bowl of cereal when they eat. In fact, on the motivation front, SAHDs have to take the opposite approach. Being a full-time caregiver requires a lot of determination and composure. It is a job that doesn’t stop at 5 p.m. or for the weekend, and if you’re not on your toes constantly with the kids, they will eat you alive. Not to mention, you need to be motivated just to deal with these misconceptions.
2. So, You’re Babysitting Today?
Every stay-at-home dad has heard this. He probably heard it during the first week while out running an errand. And he’s heard it many, many times since. Yes, most kids are watched by women. But to automatically think that a father, even one who doesn’t stay with the kids full time, would only be with the children if he was babysitting shows how deep the parenting stereotype is. This is a tough situation to respond to. Taking the high road with a simple nod and a smile or a quick, “I watch them every day,” is probably best. They’ll probably get the hint, and likely will feel a little guilty about making the comment.
1. He Is Not Masculine
This is the granddaddy of all stay-at-home misconceptions. Watching the kids is a woman’s job. Men are supposed to be the breadwinners. You are not a man. It’s enough to make anyone unsure. It’s easy to get beaten down by this stereotype in what can already be an isolating role. A big defense is to show you have a grasp on the important task of making sure the kids are growing right is as important and rewarding of a job as any. You are taking care of your family. Isn’t that fall under the umbrella of what a man is supposed to do?
出于某些原因，人们倾向于向倾听者灌输自己的想法。而你最经常被灌输的观点恐怕就是“居家男人”了。虽然“居家男人”已经越来越被人们接受，在现在的社会成为一个在家照看孩子的居家男人还是会被投来异样的眼光。不想开口反驳或没有挫败感是不太可能的。但是正确处理人们的非议会让你干的舒心些。下面就是人们关于“居家男人”最典型的几种误解。
10. 他成天在家看体育节目
.其实，工作日期间电视台播放的体育节目并不多，所以收看乏味的电视剧的可能性更高。但是看电视肯定是你带孩子参加完他的培训节目后短暂的休息空挡里才能做的事情，通常也是你繁忙的一天中脑海里最后的奢侈想法。也许孩子睡着后，房子收拾妥当后你可以看看晚间的《体育中心》，但也不能保证你有这样的时间。
9.他的妻子更应该居家
这是居家男人必须面对的最主要的误解，由此也可看出男主外女主内这种思想的根深蒂固。这是可矛盾的误解，其实很多男人并不喜欢天天窝的办公室，而是喜欢在加照顾孩子；有些女性则喜欢出去发展事业。不能怀疑你的妻子也希望花更多时间陪孩子。于是你们经过艰难的讨论认为这是最好的解决办法。如果说讨论中妈妈说她不想当妈妈，那才真令人怀疑呢。
8． 男人应该出去工作
大多数居家男人都会告诉你，他的一个男性朋友，以前的同事，熟人，或者家庭成员曾经说过如果可以他们愿意回家照看孩子。Careerbuilder.com网站发布的一次年度调查结果显示工作的男人中又50%表示愿意在家照看孩子。这一数字今几年增长了40%。多数居家男人乐于在家，而不想放弃这样的机会。
7.男人不能在家照看孩子
当然，美国2006年人口调查局数据显示，称得上全职爸爸的仅有159,000人，而全职妈妈有560,000。但如果把花部分时间照看孩子或承担大部分照顾孩子责任的男性算在一起，承担主要照看孩子的人群中男性占到20%。此外，过去的十年间，居家男人的数量翻了三倍。全职爸爸的数量相当可观。
6.男性不如女性会照看孩子
不请自来的各种建议是爸爸们带着孩子外出是经常碰到的。“你这样是不对的；你给孩子穿错衣服了；你不该给孩子吃爆米花……”或者“孩子应该和妈妈在一起”是因为男性不能很好的照看孩子吗？妈妈肯定也听到过类似的建议，而且没有理由说谁应该照顾孩子。不论怎样，听到人们说自己这个那个做的不对总是会感到不舒服的。
5. 他一定是失业了
.除了被逼无奈，爸爸们是不会选择在家带孩子的，对吗？在当今社会，有些男性是由于失业或者工作不景气而回家带孩子的，但这并不意味着他们不喜欢带孩子。但是如果有些男性以经济不景气作为回家看孩子的完美借口也不要感到惊奇。
4. 他一定还在找工作
还是那句话，人们很难理解一个男人会喜欢在家带孩子。有时候是这样，当了解了一个居家男人每天所做的事情时，很难让人支持他的决定，很难找到合适的理由说服自己接受这样的做法。很多人坚持自己的做法，他们会告诉你现在做事又多么开心，也会告诉你有多少猎头或招聘广告要求的条件自己都符合。就把这当做别人非议你的一种反驳吧。
3. 他一定胸无大志
如果你整天呆在家里不去上班，一定会觉得无所事事或者没有你想做的事情。你肯定宁愿睡到中午，爬起来吃一碗冰玉米片，玩玩电游，之后再去睡午觉。但问题是小孩不会睡到中午，幸运的话你可以在他们吃饭的时候吃到一碗麦片。其实，在志向问题面前，居家的男性朋友可以从反面入手。做全职爸爸需要很大的决心和耐性。这个工作可不是朝九晚五那么简单，而且没有周末。如果你不时刻警惕，小家伙可能把你“活活吃掉”，更不要说还得面对那么多的非议和不理解了.
2. 你今天在带孩子？
每个全职爸爸都听过这样的问话。也许他当家的第一周出去买东西时就听到了这样的问题，从那之后听到这个问题的次数太多太多了。确实，多数孩子是由妈妈带大的。但是自觉的想一想，一个父亲，哪怕是个不天天和孩子一起的父亲，只有在照看孩子时才会和孩子在一起，该由女人带孩子的观念是多么深入人心呢。这个问题确实不好回答。但是高调一点，微笑着点点头回应他们“我每天都照看孩子”也许是最好的回答。这样他们就会明白你的意思，并会为提出这样的问题而感到不好意思了。
1. 他不够男人
这是关于“居家男人”历史最为悠久的看法了。照看孩子是女人的本分，男人应该出去干事业养家糊口。你不是个男人，这样的话会使每个人都感到难堪。你已经被孤立出来了，再听到这样的评价，肯定会让人受不了的。对付这种非议的最好武器就是告诉他照看孩子是多么重要的任务，照看好孩子和其他工作一样重要一样有意义，你是在照顾家庭，这不正式一个男人应该做的吗？
