Change your thinking and ultimately change your life by implementing these 10 steps.
1. Examine the programming. We all grow up with messages from our pasts that shape our beliefs about ourselves. Have you examined those messages recently? What are they telling you about yourself?
2. Keep a notebook handy and write down any thoughts (self-talk) that evoke negative emotions. These include thoughts that make you feel defeated, sad, angry, afraid, unsure, or self-doubting. Once you have identified thinking patterns, it becomes easier to change them.
3. Now take action to change your self-talk. If your self-talk reflects any negativity, get rid of it. How do you do this? Replace self-defeating statements with positive, empowering ones. For example, replace “I can't do anything right” with “ I may not be able to do all things but I can certainly do some things and do them well.” Replace “I always forget” to “everyone forgets and it's not a big deal-just what it is to be human.” Changing your thoughts actually alters brain chemistry.
4. You cannot have an emotion without a thought preceding it. When you change your thoughts, you change the way you feel, and this radiates out into your life and affects its outcome. It's a domino effect: thought, emotion, action, outcome. Your thoughts can be a recipe for disaster or a recipe for happiness and personal fulfillment.
5. Self-sooth. Treat yourself as you would your best friend. We'll often comfort a friend while being unnecessarily hard on ourselves. Learn to comfort yourself when needed. Whenever you are stressed or need comfort, think or speak out loud using comforting words: “It's okay. It's all right.”.
6. Eliminate other people's “shoulds” from your life. Life is too short to put your dreams on the backburner while attempting to live up to another's expectations. When you become your own best friend, it becomes easier to stand up for what's important to you.
7. Give yourself permission to be the person you were born to be-without making apologies. When you truly value yourself, other people's opinions become less important.
8. Do not allow people to minimize your concerns or belittle you. Scrutinize your relationships and identify those that are emotionally unhealthy.
Choose friends who support you; limit association with those who drag you down.
9. Look to yourself as the best source of validation. You do not need others' praise to know you are worthwhile and a talented human being.
10. Create a life plan that embraces serenity, beauty, spontaneity, and time for fun.
When you change your thinking, you change your outlook and ultimately your circumstances. It's that simple. This is a sure-fire formula that will set you on the path to happiness and personal fulfillment.
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