This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope

with the stress that builds up during the day:

BREAKFAST:

1 grapefruit

1 slice whole wheat toast

1 cup skim milk

LUNCH

Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a

cup of spinach

1 cup herbal tea

1 chocolate biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA

The rest of the chocolate biscuits in the packet

1 tub of Rocky Road ice cream with Choc-ice topping

1 jar nutella

DINNER

4 bottles of red wine

2 loaves garlic bread

1 family size supreme pizza

LATE NIGHT SNACK

Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten

directly from freezer)

DIET RULES:

1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories

2. When drinking a diet-coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the

chocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet-coke.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories

don't count if you do not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes does NOT count. (for example:

chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka)

5. If you fatten up the people around you,

you will look thinner.

6. Cinema-related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part

of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake.

(this includes: popcorn, minties, maltesers, jaffas and frozen cokes)

7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up

causes calorie leakage.

8. Food licked from knives and spoons has

no fat if you are in the process of cooking something.

9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat.

Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream;apples and red jelly snakes.

10.Chocolate is a food-colour wildcard

and may be substituted for any other colour.

11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity

and the density of calorie mass.

12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it

rightfully belongs to the other person and the fat will cling to his/her plate.

And remember:

STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS

这是一个特殊的饮食公式,帮助你抗衡一天中积累起来的压力:

早餐:

一个葡萄柚

一片纯小麦粉烤制的面包

一杯撇去乳皮浮沫的牛奶

午餐:

一小份精瘦的蒸鸡肉和一份菠菜

一杯草本植物茶

一片巧克力饼干

下午茶:

盒子中余下的巧克力饼干

一支巧克力冰盖的冰激凌

一罐坚果奶茶

晚餐:

4瓶红酒

2个蒜蓉面包

一份家庭装极品批萨

夜宵:

整块冰冻色拉干酪蛋糕(从冰箱取出即食)

饮食规则:

1.      如果没有人看到你吃东西,那它就不产生热量

2.      如果边喝可乐边吃巧克力,那么巧克力里的脂肪就被可乐抵消了.

3.      如果你喝别人一起吃东西,只要你没有别人吃得多,那么你所吃的食物产生的热量就忽略不计.

4.      用于医疗目的的食物(产生的热量)不算数.例如:巧克力,烤面包片,干酪蛋糕和伏特加

5.      如果你使你周围的人变胖,你就会显得相对苗条.

6.      在电影院里吃的相关食物热量计算为零,因为它们是娱乐物品的一部分,而不算摄入的食物.(它们包括:爆米花,-麦芽糖,-和冰可乐)

7.      饼干片没有热量,因为把饼干掰开能使热量流失掉.

8.      在煮东西的时候从刀和和汤匙上舔吃的食物没有热量.

9.      相同颜色的食物含有相同的热量.例如:菠菜和薄荷冰激凌,苹果和红色的蛇肉冻.

10.  巧克力和食物的颜色相同,可以取代其他任何颜色.

11.  站立吃食物不产生热量,因为食物的重力和热量的密度?

12.  从别人盘子里吃的食物不产生热量,因为从所有权上来说它属于对方,所以热量会粘在别人的盘子里.

记住:压力倒过来拼写就是餐后甜点哦.